We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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