i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
