I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
