Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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