I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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