How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize