everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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