Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
