I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
