if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
