You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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