i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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