I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
