i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
FUCK WHALES
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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