is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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