So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
