Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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