its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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