if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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