Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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