you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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