Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
