evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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