all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
The feeling are messing with the penis
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
