I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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