put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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