Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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