haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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