what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
