My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
