are you still at the devil's house?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
