This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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