i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
