I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
