I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
love makes seman taste better
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Everclear isn't food dammit
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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