do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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