OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
