I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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