we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
