you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
sex in a hospital.. check
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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