He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
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I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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