We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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