I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
