Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
