i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
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