I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
