I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
