Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
