Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
