We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
