i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
