Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He shit in the fireplace
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
