To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
