what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
