it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize