I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I skipped work to stalk him.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
