There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
