How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
