don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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